Lisa
04-25-2005, 04:49 PM
*from a member on the CanadianRider forum. So save your comments Smoke!! :crazy3: *
Stick Up the Ass
Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading
up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend,
Ormond D. Young (27) at the Metallica concert last Friday.
Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater
after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top
of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found
with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions,
and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed
and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off
the ground; adding to the mystery of the heretofore
unexplained scene. According to Commissioner-In-Charge
Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get
tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable
to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the lot
and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had
consumed 18 beers between the two of them, they hit
upon the idea of scaling the 7 foot wooden security
fence around the perimeter of the site and sneak in.
They apparently moved the truck up to the edge of the
fence and decided that Young would go over first and
assist Uhlenake later. They had not counted on the fact
that while it was a 7 foot fence on the parking lot
side, there was a 23 foot drop on the other side. Young,
who weighed 255 lbs and was quite inebriated, had jumped
up and over the fence and promptly fell about half the
23 foot distance before a large tree branch broke his
fall AND his left forearm; unfortunately, he also managed
to get his shorts caught on the branch.
Since he was now in a lot of pain and with no way to
extricate himself and his shorts from the tree, he decided,
seeing bushes down below, to cut his shorts off and
fall to the ground. Upon cutting the last bit of fabric
from himself, he suddenly plummeted to earth, losing
grip of the knife. The "soft" bushes were actually holly
bushes and landing in them caused a massive number of
cuts. He also had the misfortune of landing squarely
on a holly bush branch; effectively impaling himself.
The knife, which he had accidentally released 15 ft
up, now landed and stabbed him in his left thigh. Apparently,
he was in a lot of pain. Enter his friend Robert. Uhlenake
had apparently observed the last bit of this and, despite
his inebriated state, realized that Young was in trouble.
He hit upon the idea of lowering a rope to his friend
and pull him up and over the fence. This was complicated
by the fact that Uhlenake was outweighed by his friend
by a good 100 lbs. Again, despite his state he realized
he could use their truck to pull Young out. Unfortunately,
because of his state, Uhlenake put the truck in reverse,
rather than drive, broke through the fence, landed on
Young (killing him), was thrown out of the truck and
subsequently died of internal injuries. "So that's how
a dead 255 lb man with no pants on, with a truck on
top of him and a stick up his ass came to be" said Commissioner
Appleton.
Stick Up the Ass
Police in George, WA issued a report on the events leading
up to the deaths of Robert Uhlenake (24) and his friend,
Ormond D. Young (27) at the Metallica concert last Friday.
Uhlenake and Young were found dead at the Gorge Amphitheater
after the show. Uhlenake was in pickup that was on top
of Young at the bottom of a 20 ft drop. Young was found
with severe lacerations, numerous fractures, contusions,
and a branch in his anal cavity. He also had been stabbed
and his pants were in a tree above him, some 15 ft off
the ground; adding to the mystery of the heretofore
unexplained scene. According to Commissioner-In-Charge
Inoye Appleton, Uhlenake and Young had tried to get
tickets for the sold-out concert. When they were unable
to get any tickets, the two decided to stay in the lot
and drink. Once the show began, and after the two had
consumed 18 beers between the two of them, they hit
upon the idea of scaling the 7 foot wooden security
fence around the perimeter of the site and sneak in.
They apparently moved the truck up to the edge of the
fence and decided that Young would go over first and
assist Uhlenake later. They had not counted on the fact
that while it was a 7 foot fence on the parking lot
side, there was a 23 foot drop on the other side. Young,
who weighed 255 lbs and was quite inebriated, had jumped
up and over the fence and promptly fell about half the
23 foot distance before a large tree branch broke his
fall AND his left forearm; unfortunately, he also managed
to get his shorts caught on the branch.
Since he was now in a lot of pain and with no way to
extricate himself and his shorts from the tree, he decided,
seeing bushes down below, to cut his shorts off and
fall to the ground. Upon cutting the last bit of fabric
from himself, he suddenly plummeted to earth, losing
grip of the knife. The "soft" bushes were actually holly
bushes and landing in them caused a massive number of
cuts. He also had the misfortune of landing squarely
on a holly bush branch; effectively impaling himself.
The knife, which he had accidentally released 15 ft
up, now landed and stabbed him in his left thigh. Apparently,
he was in a lot of pain. Enter his friend Robert. Uhlenake
had apparently observed the last bit of this and, despite
his inebriated state, realized that Young was in trouble.
He hit upon the idea of lowering a rope to his friend
and pull him up and over the fence. This was complicated
by the fact that Uhlenake was outweighed by his friend
by a good 100 lbs. Again, despite his state he realized
he could use their truck to pull Young out. Unfortunately,
because of his state, Uhlenake put the truck in reverse,
rather than drive, broke through the fence, landed on
Young (killing him), was thrown out of the truck and
subsequently died of internal injuries. "So that's how
a dead 255 lb man with no pants on, with a truck on
top of him and a stick up his ass came to be" said Commissioner
Appleton.