I suffered your jokes...

[Lisa]

now you can suffer mine!


A fellow goes to his dentist complaining that something feels very wrong in his mouth. The dentist takes a look and shakes his head saying, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is completely disintegrated. Something has eroded it almost completely away. What have you been eating?"

The fellow replies, "Well, all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it she called Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much that now I eat it on everything; my meat, my fish, on vegetables, on toast....on everything!"

"Well," said the dentist, "that’s the answer. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice which is highly corrosive and that has eaten away your upper plate. I’ll have to make you a new one and this time I’d better make it out of chrome."

"Why chrome?" asked the patient.

To which the dentist replied, "It’s simple. Everyone knows there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

[Lisa]

A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor, fumbling in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly.

Not surprisingly, he is convicted and put on death row. Just before he is to be electrocuted, his last request is for 12 pounds of bananas, which he devours. They strap him into the chair, flip the switch, and he just sits there, smiling.

According to tradition, this is considered a reprieve from God and he is freed. Somehow he gets a job as a bus conductor in a nearby city, and he is happily dispensing tickets when he sees a girl stick her gum on the back of a seat on the bus. Enraged, he lunges out with the ticket dispenser, breaking the offender's neck and killing her.

Again, he is convicted and sent to death row. He again eats the 12 pounds of bananas, and lo and behold, the electricity does not harm him.

This time the executioner cleans the contacts, makes him sit in a bucket of water, he tries everything - but the conductor won`t die. So again, he is set free.

Amazingly he gets hired by another bus company. It takes him 1 day to lose his temper and beat to death a young boy who starts to chew his bus ticket.

He returns to death row, eats the bananas, and survives the electrocution.

At this point, the executioner can take no more - his professional pride has been hurt. Before setting our friend free again, he asks him his secret - "what is it with the bananas?"

"Oh, the bananas have nothing to do with it", replies our friend. "I'm just a bad conductor."

[SmokeShowin]

now you can suffer mine!


A fellow goes to his dentist complaining that something feels very wrong in his mouth. The dentist takes a look and shakes his head saying, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is completely disintegrated. Something has eroded it almost completely away. What have you been eating?"

The fellow replies, "Well, all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it she called Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much that now I eat it on everything; my meat, my fish, on vegetables, on toast....on everything!"

"Well," said the dentist, "that’s the answer. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice which is highly corrosive and that has eaten away your upper plate. I’ll have to make you a new one and this time I’d better make it out of chrome."

"Why chrome?" asked the patient.

To which the dentist replied, "It’s simple. Everyone knows there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"


:no:
seek :help:

[AirportFF]

uh............ok :rolleyes5

[Mr.Sinister]

This is what passes for humor in Cananananananananada ? :no: :bed fart:

[M@Man]

Have you noticed when a woman tells a joke how 'wordy' it is?
Gotta keep em short to match our short attention spans, like...

So I says to her "Do you smoke after sex?"
She said "I don't know, I never looked!"

BUWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

M@

[Lisa]

I said suffer mine! I think they suck as much as the ones you guys have been posting! :happy:

[M@Man]

Stick around folks, I got a million of 'em!
Next shows are at 7 and 11, and don't forget to tip your waitress! :Mrs. AJ:

M@

[Lisa]

no more please or I will be forced to put a jacket on

[M@Man]

no more please or I will be forced to put a jacket on

You started it! :tongue3:

M@

[Lisa]

You started it! :tongue3:

M@


No way! Razor is to blame!

[RAZOR]

No way! Razor is to blame!
AND YOU SAID my jokes were bad.
did you go back and read the other 3 i left you in my thread.

[C@Woman]

Midnight bugs taste best! :crazy3: