sex & marriage

[Hillbilly]

Was it planned that the 2 words begin with S & M?
I've noticed that most married men when asked about sex reply, "I'm married I'm not allowed to do that." Meaning, somehow you ladies brainwash us & try to make us think we've forgotten how. Not to mention which armpit you keep it under on any given week.
Still a mystery to me, but still feel I have a 50/50 shot of guessing correctly.
What is the formula you ladies use to decide where you're hiding it?

I'm a bad guesser.

[FFsLady]

Was it planned that the 2 words begin with S & M?
I've noticed that most married men when asked about sex reply, "I'm married I'm not allowed to do that." Meaning, somehow you ladies brainwash us & try to make us think we've forgotten how. Not to mention which armpit you keep it under on any given week.
Still a mystery to me, but still feel I have a 50/50 shot of guessing correctly.
What is the formula you ladies use to decide where you're hiding it?

I'm a bad guesser.

I'm not sure if I understand what your saying. Maybe THATS part of the problem. Just speak up and say what you mean.
Brainwash? Forgot how? How to perform? I'm not being a wise ass, just trying to understand what your saying. What do we keep under our armpits?

I think I have the gist of it but Please answer my questions, I'd like to know what you mean.

Sex and marriage: I think that it slows down a bit. Think of this: when you are dating, you're usually going out someplace fun or nice and actually PLAN to spend the day/evening/night together. You shower, put on your cologne, your hair looks good etc. When you're married, you usually buy a house, fix the house, work hard to get money to fix the house, have kids and so on. Boy, that made me tired just thinking about all that stuff! Try making a "date" ...both of you have to set aside some special time and make each other the "focus" of the evening. No shop talk, just enjoy and appreciate each other, then you're pretty much guaranteed a good fuck at the end of the night!
Oh one other thing, I think "quickies" are great...just stop in the middle of the day and fuck, then proceed to what you were doing...or not. BUT both people have to like the quickies or it will cause problems. :wink_2: :crown:

[FFsLady]

Oh yeah, what is it that we're hiding?????? :no:

[AirportFF]

Oh one other thing, I think "quickies" are great...just stop in the middle of the day and fuck, then proceed to what you were doing...or not.

Like the day we were in the middle of working on the yard, fucked on the front porch, then went back to work?

[FFsLady]

Like the day we were in the middle of working on the yard, fucked on the front porch, then went back to work?

Yeah, that was cool, both working hard, need a little release...bang me on the porch and back to work! fun. :happy:

[Hillbilly]

Sorry about not getting back sooner (gotta attend a job to get paid you know)
When you read this the first time I bet you said WTF is he saying??
Just messin with ya. So spank me pink. :assbeat:

Count it as shock factor & laugh, it makes the day go better.

AS far as the armpit statement. I'm guessing you've never heard it said that I haven't had it in so long, I've forgotten which armpit it's under.

No need to call in the post police :cop:

Just consider it :spam:
________
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[RAZOR]

KOO-KOO,,,KOO-KOO,,,KOO-KOO------- :rolleyes5

[Wild Coyote]

Sorry about not getting back sooner (gotta attend a job to get paid you know)
When you read this the first time I bet you said WTF is he saying??
Just messin with ya. So spank me pink. :assbeat:

Count it as shock factor & laugh, it makes the day go better.

AS far as the armpit statement. I'm guessing you've never heard it said that I haven't had it in so long, I've forgotten which armpit it's under.

No need to call in the post police :cop:

Just consider it :spam:

I'm confused. What are you talking about? The secret to great sex while you are married, is treat every day like you are still dating. Spontaneous, fun, flirt. Bring her flowers, give her compliments, tell her she is hot, etc. It goes a long way and you will get it on a regular basis. Also, don't let yourself go. If you want her to stay in shape for you, you need to stay in shape for her! Plus, if you don't want, or are done having kids, getiing the big "V" also helps with being spontaneous. No worries about knocking her up.

[RAZOR]

Spontaneous, fun, flirt. Bring her flowers, give her compliments, tell her she is hot, etc. you will get it on a regular basis..


FUN,FLIRT,FLOWERS,COMPLIMENTS :no: HAVE YOU GONE INSANE...
WHEN EVER YOU WANT SOME YOU TELL THEM,"HEY I'M HORNY SO TAKE OFF
YOUR PANTIES AND GET BUSY POLISHING THAT HELMET SO I COULD POUND
YOU AND GET THIS OVER WITH,''-(optional if you want to add the word bitch
in there a couple of times.)-
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.YOU GUYS KNOW I,M JUST KIDDING RIGHT?

[Wild Coyote]

"Get this over with"? That's where you are going wrong. You never want to get it over with unless it's some big fat chick that is killing you because she's on top of you smothering you. I believe that was in another post. The carjacking device. That chick was huge!!! When you find a sexy woman, you want it to go on forever!

[pegscraper]

So what you are saying is "Let's fuck!" isn't romantic enough? I just wait until she's asleep and do my best not to wake her. Pleases me! Who else cares!

Reminds me of a joke.
Co workers were talking about their sex lives. One guy says "I get it all the time". His black coworker asks him how. He says I tell her poetry, like:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Lets take off your clothes and I will make sweet love to you!

So the next day, the black guy comes in with a black eye. His buddy asks him what happened. He said, "I told her a poem and she smacked me".
His buddy asks to hear the poem so he repeats it.

Nappy head, nappy head
with your eyes like a frog,
bend over bitch and I'll fuck you like a dog!


Pegs

[RAZOR]

"Get this over with"? That's where you are going wrong. You never want to get it over with unless it's some big fat chick that is killing you because she's on top of you smothering you. I believe that was in another post. The carjacking device. That chick was huge!!! When you find a sexy woman, you want it to go on forever!
I WAS ONLY KIDDING....BUT YOU KNOW SOMETIMES,WITH YOUR WIFE YOU
WANT TO BUST A NUT AND GO TO SLEEP,SO YOU JUST WANT TO GET ON BUST
AND GET OFF...

[Wild Coyote]

Nappy head, nappy head
with your eyes like a frog,
bend over bitch and I'll fuck you like a dog!


Pegs

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[FFsLady]

Sorry about not getting back sooner (gotta attend a job to get paid you know)
When you read this the first time I bet you said WTF is he saying??
Just messin with ya. So spank me pink. :assbeat:

Count it as shock factor & laugh, it makes the day go better.

AS far as the armpit statement. I'm guessing you've never heard it said that I haven't had it in so long, I've forgotten which armpit it's under.

No need to call in the post police :cop:

Just consider it :spam:

OH OK, no never heard that one. hmmmm. :bat_angel

[FFsLady]

FUN,FLIRT,FLOWERS,COMPLIMENTS :no: HAVE YOU GONE INSANE...
WHEN EVER YOU WANT SOME YOU TELL THEM,"HEY I'M HORNY SO TAKE OFF
YOUR PANTIES AND GET BUSY POLISHING THAT HELMET SO I COULD POUND
YOU AND GET THIS OVER WITH,''-(optional if you want to add the word bitch
in there a couple of times.)-
.
.

that was too fucking funny!!! I almost fell off my chair!! :laugh:

But seriously......the compliments and all that shit work. Even if we know you're just saying it to get some.........At least your trying. :lips2:

[Wicked Wanda]

I WAS ONLY KIDDING....BUT YOU KNOW SOMETIMES,WITH YOUR WIFE YOU
WANT TO BUST A NUT AND GO TO SLEEP,SO YOU JUST WANT TO GET ON BUST
AND GET OFF...

And, don't forget, mornin' wood!! ....nothing like a little lovin' first thing in the mornin'. :sweethear

[RAZOR]

And, don't forget, mornin' wood!! ....nothing like a little lovin' first thing in the mornin'. :sweethear
i have all day wood....... :happy: nothing like a little lovin all day...

[Wicked Wanda]

LOL Some of us do have to werk for a livin'... :wink_2:

[croach1]

You could try all this, or just find a girlfriend.