pegscraper
10-12-2005, 08:56 AM
One day in the future, Jesse Jackson has a heart-attack and dies. He
immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him "I don't
know what to do here," says the devil.
"You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to
stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few
folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but
you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to
the first room. In it, was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He
kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over
he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Jesse said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I
don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Jesse.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton, lying
on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained
in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what
she does best.
Jesse looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah, I
can handle this."
The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . .. . .
"OK, Monica, you're free to go"
immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him "I don't
know what to do here," says the devil.
"You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to
stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few
folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but
you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Jesse thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to
the first room. In it, was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He
kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over
he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Jesse said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I
don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Jesse.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Jesse saw Bill Clinton, lying
on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained
in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what
she does best.
Jesse looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah, I
can handle this."
The devil smiled and said . . . . . . . .. . .
"OK, Monica, you're free to go"