TinyUFB
10-06-2005, 11:05 PM
Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the periodic table (from Chemistry class) elements:
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing
and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses
strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic
food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier
specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income
reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets
bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any
chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with
itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child)
for prolonged period of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able
to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate times.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly
decomposes and begins to smell.
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing
and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses
strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic
food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier
specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income
reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets
bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any
chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with
itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child)
for prolonged period of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able
to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate times.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly
decomposes and begins to smell.