RAZOR
09-19-2005, 05:34 PM
1-a kindergartner pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat but it was dead.
teacher:how do you know that cat was dead?
kid:i pissed in its ear and it did'nt move.
teacher:you did what??
kid:you know the boy said i leaned over and went psssssstt and it did'nt move.
2-it was that time,during the sunday morning service,for the childrens sermon.
all the children were invited to come forward.one little girl was wearing a particularly
pretty dress and,as she sat down ,the pastor leaned over and said ,"that is a very pretty dress? is it your easter dress?"the little girl replied, directly into the pastors
clip-on microphone,"yes and my mommy says its a bitch to iron."
3-this lady was six months pregnant with her third child.the three year old came into the room when she was getting into the shower.she said,"mommy,you are getting
fat."she replied ."yes ,honey,remember mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"i know" she replied,"but whats growing in your butt?"
4-a little boy was doing his math homework.he said to himself ."two plus five,
that son of bitch is seven,three plus six,that son of a bitch is nine...."
his mother heard what he was saying and gasped ,''what are you doing?'
the little boy answered,"i'm doing my math homework,'' ,"and this is how your teacher taught you to do it,''the mother asked.''YES'' he answered.
infuriated,the mother asked the teacher the next day,"what are you teaching
my son in in math.''she replied ,"right now we are learning addition."
the mother asked ,"are you teaching them to say two plus two that son of a bitch
is four?''after the teacher stopped laughing she replied,no,no,what i tought them
was two plus two,THE SUM OF WHICH is four.''
5-one day the first grade teacher was reading the story of chicken little to her class.she came to the part pf the story where chicken little tried to warn the farmer. she read , ''..and so chicken little went up to the farmer and said ,' the
sky is falling,the sky is falling!!!"the teacher paused then asked the class , '' and what do you think the farmer said?'' one little girl raised her hand and said ,"i think
he said, holy shit!!! a talking chicken!!.''
6-a little girl goes to the barber shop with her father she stands next to the barber chair,while her dad gets his hair cut,eating a snack cake.
the barber says to her."sweetheart,you're going to get hair on your twinkie."
she says ,"yes,i know,and i'm going to get boobs too.''
7-a certian little girl when asked her name would say,"i'm MR:Sugarbrowns daughter."her mother told her this was wrong ,she must say,"i'm jane sugarbrown,''
the vicar spoke to her in sunday school ,and said ,'arent you mr sugarbrowns daughter?" she replied ,"i thought i was ,but my mother says i'm not,''
teacher:how do you know that cat was dead?
kid:i pissed in its ear and it did'nt move.
teacher:you did what??
kid:you know the boy said i leaned over and went psssssstt and it did'nt move.
2-it was that time,during the sunday morning service,for the childrens sermon.
all the children were invited to come forward.one little girl was wearing a particularly
pretty dress and,as she sat down ,the pastor leaned over and said ,"that is a very pretty dress? is it your easter dress?"the little girl replied, directly into the pastors
clip-on microphone,"yes and my mommy says its a bitch to iron."
3-this lady was six months pregnant with her third child.the three year old came into the room when she was getting into the shower.she said,"mommy,you are getting
fat."she replied ."yes ,honey,remember mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"i know" she replied,"but whats growing in your butt?"
4-a little boy was doing his math homework.he said to himself ."two plus five,
that son of bitch is seven,three plus six,that son of a bitch is nine...."
his mother heard what he was saying and gasped ,''what are you doing?'
the little boy answered,"i'm doing my math homework,'' ,"and this is how your teacher taught you to do it,''the mother asked.''YES'' he answered.
infuriated,the mother asked the teacher the next day,"what are you teaching
my son in in math.''she replied ,"right now we are learning addition."
the mother asked ,"are you teaching them to say two plus two that son of a bitch
is four?''after the teacher stopped laughing she replied,no,no,what i tought them
was two plus two,THE SUM OF WHICH is four.''
5-one day the first grade teacher was reading the story of chicken little to her class.she came to the part pf the story where chicken little tried to warn the farmer. she read , ''..and so chicken little went up to the farmer and said ,' the
sky is falling,the sky is falling!!!"the teacher paused then asked the class , '' and what do you think the farmer said?'' one little girl raised her hand and said ,"i think
he said, holy shit!!! a talking chicken!!.''
6-a little girl goes to the barber shop with her father she stands next to the barber chair,while her dad gets his hair cut,eating a snack cake.
the barber says to her."sweetheart,you're going to get hair on your twinkie."
she says ,"yes,i know,and i'm going to get boobs too.''
7-a certian little girl when asked her name would say,"i'm MR:Sugarbrowns daughter."her mother told her this was wrong ,she must say,"i'm jane sugarbrown,''
the vicar spoke to her in sunday school ,and said ,'arent you mr sugarbrowns daughter?" she replied ,"i thought i was ,but my mother says i'm not,''